Rough days…

It hasn’t been easy, and I know it will continue to be a difficult road ahead.  There have been moments of tears with mixed in moments of laughter.  I’ve been cautious and completely overwhelmed.  Dealing with this has been much harder that I could have ever imagined.  Every day I have to convince myself that it won’t be easier to go back to my old ways.  Sometimes once a day, sometimes all day long.  Its brutal.  I suppose it will get easier eventually, but while I’m still in the beginning stages of “recovery” I expect it will continue to feel like a battle against masses.

I joined a gym yesterday, and today will be my first venture there.  Every time I think about using fitness dvds, I cringe.  I brings instant anxiety about falling back into my prior ways.  It also reminds me of how far I came and how far I fell back down.  After a talk with Nick I was apprehensive about joining a gym but I do miss working out in general.  And the weather is just way too fickle to rely on outdoor workouts.  (plus I hate, hate, HATE bugs…)  Luckily for us, our insurance will pay for our gym membership (up to $30) as long as we go a min of 10 times a month.  My membership is 19.99 a month which means I can still do yoga twice a month for free or three times a month only having to pay a total of $3.50!  So its a great deal and definitely urges you to get to the gym and just do it.

I will be going to a therapist soon to help me through all of the ups and downs of this process.  And I can’t help but hope that it really does help more than I currently can imagine.

Comment (1)

  1. Toni Zuba

    That’s a “no brainer” for the cost of the gym membership! Awesome! Fitness isn’t all about weight, it’s about health, so I’m glad you will be back to working out again. I enjoy it myself, and I’m glad I’m getting back into again.

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