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Eating Disorder Awareness Week


In case you’re unaware, this week (February 24-28) is Eating Disorder Awareness Week, so I thought I would take some time to update you guys on my progress.  For those of you who don’t know, I was diagnosed with an e.d. almost two years ago.  Click here to read my story and how I came to realize that I had a problem.

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Know when to back off

Unfortunately my plans have been put on hold. After some intense lower back pain I’ve been forced to put my working out on hold. The only thing I can really do right now is walk around and some mild yoga. Although on Saturday I pushed a little too hard even at yoga and ended up in paralyzing pain. So, something to keep in mind, when you feel like you’ve tweaked something or when you’re so sore you can barely move, take a day or two off… After 2 or 3 days of working out I could barely move, and instead of taking a day off I pushed forward, and in doing so tweaked my back. I went to do some lifting and my body was so sore that I couldn’t safely lift above my head. So- lesson learned.

I started reading Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi and it is a great book so far. Only at chapter 6, but it really explains what goes through your head when you’re constantly concerned with food, as an anorexic, bulimic, obsessive or observant. She did an amazing job telling the story that captivates you and really brings you to understand how the disease can take hold of someone. However it has also shown me that I walk a very fine line between trying to lose weight and obsession with food. It makes me not want to count every calorie, because that is an easy way to become obsessed, and knowing I became obsessed before makes me definitely not want to again. Unfortunately, as I explained to my cousin when she asked why I track every calorie, my response was because I know it works… So now I’m on a mission to find another option. Because even though I know it works doesn’t mean its right, as with Portia’s story of the 1000kilojoule diet (300 calories) She knew it worked after doing it many times in the past, but that definitely doesn’t mean it is right.

As for everything else, it seems to be going well. I feel I’m doing pretty well keeping myself together. Still no bites on the revamped resume, but I’m hopeful that something will catch soon. One other thing- thinking back to working at Disney. I feel I didn’t get the most out of my Disney opportunity. While at the college program I didn’t take any of the classes and did very little of the extra curricular opportunities. Now, some things I can’t do over, seeing as I don’t still work there, however I can still get some stuff out of it. I looked up the curriculum for the classes I didn’t go to and wrote down all of the books that were required and recommended reading. So I am going to read those. It will allow me to get a little more out of my Disney college program experience. I’m kind of excited. There were always a few of those books I wanted to read back then but once I left I couldn’t every find out what they were, well I was going through my old emails from Disney and found the website that told me! I was so excited! As soon as I’m done with Unforgettable Lightness I will start on one of those!

On tap today- rest my back! Ice and Heat in intervals, plus regular motrin 800! And while I’m sitting here relaxing my back, I might as well apply for as many jobs as possible!

Wish me luck!

After 5 weeks!

Ok so I’ve been doing TurboFire for a full 5 weeks now and today I did my tracking of my results. And I haven’t touched a scale in weeks to see how I’ve been doing so today was D-day number 1! I am down 2.25 inches overall which is kind of nice to see. Mostly in my waist and hips which are the important places for sure! As for the body fat it only changed by 1% overall which was a little disappointing but the inches tell more than anything else. And my weight only went down 1 lb as well. Again a little disappointing over 5 weeks, but I know I also haven’t been as good as I have been in the past. However I’m going to try to keep in mind that its important to do it 80% of the time and the other 20% of the time, enjoy what I love. I’m going to try to do that with most of my life in general. 80% on track, 20% fun. Should be a little easier to stick with it if I do that.

Wish me luck!

Weigh in day!

Alright guys! Today is 1 week since I decided to change my life for good! So here are my results from my weigh in!

Weight – 150 lbs
Body fat – 30.8%
Body Water – 47.6%
Bone Mass – 7.2 lbs
Muscle Mass – 43.6 lbs

So that means I lost 1.2 lbs, 1.1% body fat, my water went up by 1%, bones stayed the same and my muscle mass went up by .9 lbs!

All went in a good direction! I’m happy, although I wish I would have gone down just .2 lbs more to bring me under that 150 lb range, but I guess its something to look forward to next week.

thanks to wowy for keeping me accountable (click my website at the side to check it out a little)

today is Fire 45 EZ, which I’ve already found is not ez at all… It will kick my ass! but thats a good thing, as for now, its breakfast time!


Ok so I meant to restart this the day I started Turbofire, but I forgot, so here it is day 7 of turbofire so I’ll give you my first week’s synopsis of how things went and then hopefully I’ll be updating almost every day after this!

So since I don’t have a whole lot of money right now I figured I’d do this the longest that I possibly can, so for starters – I am doing the prep, am I in good enough shape to start regular, probably, will that make for slower results in the beginning possibly, but right now it was more of how do I get the most out of this, so I am starting with the prep, then doing the classic, then I’ll do get the advanced dvds, and then lastly I’ll do the ChaLEAN Extreme hybrid, and overall that takes me up to just about a years worth of training with Turbofire!


01/07/2011 – Day 1 – Fire 30/Stretch 10

This was my first time working out in a couple of weeks, and I thing it was a good place to start. I noticed right away that it was an amped up version of turbojam. It used all the same moves that I know and love, just quicker and with more power. It was a little tricky though, trying to get used to speed. But I finished it, and made it through the entire workout, at probably a level 8. Which is good. Next time I’ll try for level 9. I loved the Stretch though, it was calming, although I do definitely miss the tai chi at the end of the turbojam workouts…

01/08/2011 – Day 2 – Stretch 40

Yoga!!! But not just a regular yoga, a turbo yoga, not meaning fast, but it targets your core during the entire workout! More than I expected at least! Although I did find a new favorite ab exercise during this! You wrap the band around your feet and then hold the handles at your chest for resistance and push your feet out while leaning backwards! IT WORKS, but its really entertaining to do!

01/09/2011 – Day 3 – REST!

Nick (boyfriend) made fun of me for doing just 2 day then a recovery day, but I have to say, I like it, It makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something before taking a day off, but isn’t overwhelming by being a full week away. Sometimes you can look at that day off at the end of the week and think, good god how am I going to make it all the way through 6 of these workouts before a day off! So I like it, its something I realized after doing Chalean Extreme, that I would definitely be doing days off in the middle instead of at the end, this so happens to also be a sunday for me, which is good because between football and Nick being home I don’t have much time to workout, the day is spent doing a million other things. So good accidental timing on my part =]

01/10/2011 – Day 4 – Tone 30

I really enjoyed this workout! I really felt like I got a good resistance workout using the resistance band that comes with the program. And I also like that it works both upper and lower body at the same time which means a shorter workout, and who doesn’t like to do double duty and get it done faster!

01/11/2011 – Day 5 – Fire 45 EZ/Stretch 10

This was a hard day for me, I had so much stuff to do, that I just ran out of time. Nick and I had to go to the local pub for a practice Dart night (he is on a dart team, and they play on wednesdays and its the start of a new season, so that meant getting ready). And I wanted to be there for him, so I did as much as I could to get everything done, but when we left for darts I wasn’t even close. So I looked at my to do list and saw workout on there, and decided it would just have to wait till I got home from the pub. I managed to eat healthy at the pub (having a buffalo chicken wrap with a side salad with lemon wedges instead of dressing) and then when we got home Nick reminded me and pushed me to work out. I am very grateful that he did, but it did remind me that working out last thing in the day can be difficult, you’re running out of energy before you even start your workout, and then by the time its done you’re just beyond exhausted. It was a hard workout, I’m used to the the turbos that go crazy for a few mins and then you get a break, but this one didn’t have that, It was just cardio straight through, and made for a really tough workout. But i did it!

01/12/2011 – Day 6 – Core 20

Again- I really like this workout! The moves were not hard, but they were exact and they were effective! I felt it half way through the workout, and immediately knew the next day I would be sore (and man am I!) It was also dart night, but we managed to eat at home (chicken sandwiches) and I only had water at the pub. Its refreshing to know that I can do stuff like that. It was also a rough day because it was a snow day (we got 15 inches in about 12 hours!) so Nick was home, and although I love having him home, good lord is it hard to focus!

01/13/2011 – Day 7 – Stretch 40, end of week 1!

So today is yoga again, I think I’ll like that after the week, a nice way to end it. I’m very proud of myself for how i’ve been able to eat healthy and get so much stuff done in a week’s time! Tomorrow is my weigh in and Nick thinks I’m down a good 3.5 lbs, but I’m just hoping for 1.4, to put me under 150 lbs! We will find out tomorrow…. Below are my before stats, as you can see I’ve let myself go a little since the end of ChaLEAN Extreme, and although there is no excuse, I did let life get in the way, and I won’t ever let that happen again!

Weight – 151.2 lbs
Body Fat – 31.9%
Body Water – 46.6%
Bone Mass – 7.2 lbs
Muscle Mass – 42.7 lbs

Waist – 32.25″
Hips – 40.5″
Chest – 37″
Right Arm – 12.75″
Left Arm – 12.75″
Right Thigh – 21.5″
Left Thigh – 21.5″

Better Late Than Never

Phase 1 update –

ear to ear – 7″
neck – 12.25″
right arm – 11.25″
left arm – 11.25″
bust – 33.5″
chest – 29.75″
waist – 28″
hips – 35.5″
right thigh – 20″
left thigh – 20″
right calf – 13.5″
left calf – 13.5″

Weight – 135.4 lbs
Body Fat – 25.6%
Body Water – 51.2%
Bone Mass – 6.8 lbs
Muscle Mass – 44 lbs

Ok, so the measurements are really from last week but I kept forgetting to post them, so there you go, not much change at all from a month ago, but I’m ok with that. What I’m not ok with is this weeks weight gain. Granted I know I didn’t eat quite as well as I could have, on the same token I didn’t eat terrible either, I still ate better than 95% of the people I know. I’m hoping it is just water weight due to TOM or something like that. I guess we’ll find out next week. My fingers are crossed that this is just a fluke, since the only thing that went in a good direction was muscle mass.

This week was the first of the Push phase. It was hard to figure out what weights I needed to use to fail after such a few amount of reps. I think I did pretty good and I think next week I’ll do even better. It is after all a learning process. So- here is my breakdown of the week.

Push Circuit 1 – I really pushed myself to failure here. My muscles were shaking like crazy and by the end of it I could barely eek out the 8 push ups… I did them, but barely. Just a little sore the next day.

Push Circuit 2 – I had a harder time guaging my weights for this workout. I really need 10 pound weights cause the plates make for an awkward hand position causing me to concentrate more on holding the weight and less on the muscle I’m using.

Interval/Abs – Holy ABS!!! So I jumped up to extreme abs and 10 mins after I was done my abs were STILL on fire! It was way harder than the ab burner but definitely in a good way. Interval went well, I managed to work through the entire workout without taking breaks and without slowing down to catch my breath, just pushed and pushed and told myself that i could do it!

Push Circuit 3 – I pushed myself super hard today. Lifted a little heavier than I thought I could (all cause I only had certain weights available) but I’m happy to say that I failed at the right spot. A really good workout. Definitely enjoyed it.

Burn it off/Recharge – I enjoy this workout, its short, but super intense and then I get a super nice short yoga stretch. Sometimes I miss the 90 min yoga session I did with p90x, but I hated doing it that long, but sometimes I do wish recharge was a little longer.

So there it is, hopefully next week is a better week
Wish me luck.

ChaLEAN Extreme Week 3

Weight – 133 lbs
Body Fat – 24.4 %
Body Water – 52.4 %
Bone Mass – 6.8 lbs
Muscle Mass – 43.8

Overall another good week. I’m super glad that I lost .4% body fat, even though my weight went up .2 lbs. I’m ok with that, especially when my muscle mass went up .6 lbs. Today was a bad day when it comes to food, but thats ok, 1 bad day never hurt anyone.

I got Ali Vincent’s book – Believe it, Be it. I’m excited to start reading it. I’m really trying to do the whole person makeover, not just my body, but my mind and soul, everything. So far it seems to be going well.

Parents come into town tonight, hopefully I don’t blow it diet wise this week, I think if I have snacks on hand I’ll be good to go, except touring the coors brewery and the hammonds candy factory. So I’ll try to set limits before I go in there.

here is the breakdown

Burn Circuit 1 – Definitely feelin it in my glutes today. I started using my thigh toner today, pink the lightest resistance. And I upped my weights on my bench press. Used dave’s perfect push ups which made them much harder, but I still did all 12 on toes.

Burn Circuit 2 – I think I did well overall, I didn’t up any weights although i did use the pink thigh toner on the bicep/abductor. Was sore from clmbing the red rocks but still managed to make it through the tough workout.

Interval/Abs – My calves were SO sore before I started this, I had to massage the pain out before I could begin. I didn’t have to stop at the 16 minute mark this time. I just allowed myself to take a longer breather before the lifting. Used the pink toner on this. Definitely kicked my butt.

Burn Circuit 3 – My back is a little sore today after sleeping funny. Work out went well. Calves were still sore but I managed to do the same weights as before. Did the extreme push ups with the perfect push up, which made them WAY harder, but in a good way.

Burn it off/Recharge – I used the pink thigh toner on all of the exercises that needed it. Seemed a little easier this week, although still tough. Tonight I am definitely sore from the week. 1 more week of burn phase!

Wish me luck!

ChaLEAN Extreme Week 2

Weight: 132.8 lbs
Body Fat: 24.8 %
Body Water: 52%
Bone Mass: 6.8 lbs
Muscle Mass: 43.2 lbs

This week went well overall, although I was slightly disappointed to not see ANY changes on the scale, although I guess no change is better than a change in the wrong direction. I tried to wake up early and do my workout before work, since my parents are coming into town and I won’t be able to workout whenever I want for 4 days, I figured if I started working out early a week in advance I would be used to it and I would be good to go. But I am having a really really hard time waking up to do it. Maybe this week will be better than last week.

Of my goals this week made it to 4 out of the 5, which isn’t bad, if the scale would have moved in the right direction I would have gotten 5 out of 5… Food wise this week I think I did pretty good, although I made brownies and had 1 brownie 3 days this week, I planned it into my day which helped. Next week I’ll be better though, no brownies. I just felt the need to make them, ya know… and you can’t make them and have none, but like I said i managed to only have 1 150 calorie brownie a few days. Which is some awesome willpower.

Now here is a breakdown of each workout throughout the week…

Burn circuit 1 – Seemed much easier this week. I upped my weights on both the sumo squat/hip lift and the chest fly/hip rais

Burn circuit 2 – Was still super hard this week! I upped my weights on sumo squat/bicep and thought it was going to be too much, but I managed. Also did 2 extreme push ups on my toes this week, last week I barely did 1! I noticed I need lifting gloves- my fingers get super sore from the 20 lb weights.

Interval/Ab burner – This kicked my ass again, although my knee was in much better shape this week, it was still a super hard workout. I had to pause it at the 16 minute left mark to catch my breath and take a breather. Overall felt great though, hopefully next week I can make it through the entire thing.

Burn circuit 3 – Bumped up lunge/calf raise to 25 lbs tihs week. Definitely felt it EVERYWHERE. Aside from needing real 10 lb weights rather than plates, its going good so far.

Burn it off/Recharge – I really enjoy the high intensity of this. It kicked my but every time. I added weights on the lunge/lateral raise. Only 5 pounders like Chalene does… still felt good. I really enjoyed recharge although I kind of wish it was a little longer. But overall a good day.

Week 2 another success. Can’t wait to start week 3 tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

ChaLEAN Extreme Week 1

Weight : 132.8 lbs
Body Fat : 24.8 %
Body Water : 52%
Bone Mass : 6.8 lbs
Muscle Mass : 43.2 lbs

Over all this week went over great! I was way more sore than I was expecting (a good sore not a bad sore). The hardest part I think about the first week is adjusting your weights, and finding out what will make you fail within the first 10-12 reps. For the most part I did ok on that, there were only 3 the entire week that I needed to bump it up to a higher weight and only 2 that I needed to lower it down slightly.

This is my first time working with Chalene and I have to say I love her energy. If you aren’t in the mood to work out within the first 5 minutes you really do feel like, hey, I can do this! That is definitely nice for a change. I also really like her motivational cd that comes with the program, I’ve decided to listen to it every Thursday which is the end of my workout week. That will give me a chance to write down my weekly goals and get motivated for the week ahead.

Food wise this week I’ve done really good. On workout days I’m trying to have a net calorie (calories eaten minus calories burned off) count of 1200-1300, and on days off I’m trying to stay right around 1500. That way I’m getting enough food to be out of the starvation mood, and also to not be hungry all day long. It seems to be working for me. I’ve also become more creative with my dinners at work, doing bbq chicken sandwiches on rye, or chicken parmesan sandwiches. Stuff to keep me in the mood to eat healthy (although its not hard, nothing on the menu at work is remotely healthy to the point where most of it grosses me out).

So, I say week 1 is a success, I’m excited to get started on week 2 tomorrow! Check out my info on Livestrong!

Wish me luck!


Lately I’ve sucked at writing on here, I don’t even know where to start… Well I kinda do, Last week was a poor week weight loss wise… I only lost .2 lbs, which is pitiful. but this week I was determined not to fall off the horse, and I lost another 4 lbs!!!

Today marks the end of my 3 week at p90x, which is thoroughly kicking my butt! But definitely in a good way. There was only 1 day that I missed working out, and instead I just pushed everything back by a day, so whereas today is normally my day off, I’ll be doing kenpox today. I finally got a pull up bar so that i could do pull ups yesterday, which was nice, except I didn’t have a steady chair to put my legs on which made it really difficult, my chair kept turning every time I went up… Hopefully next week I’ll figure out something better than that. Or maybe I’ll just move the bar to the bathroom door that way I can just put my feet on the sink which is super stable…

Overall the workouts have been good, last week i was really disappointed since I had tried my hardest and only lost .2 lbs, its disappointing, and you think wtf I’m trying my best with no results, why! but thanks to the people at, they really helped me to stick with it and keep going, cause there definitely are those days where you just wanna give up.

So far, I’ve noticed that all of the workouts are becoming easier and I can do them all without feeling the need to fall over and die after them, which is big progress cause that is definitely how I felt with the first week. Although I have had some shoulder issues which required me to cut back on my weights, over all phase 1 has been a success. Next week is measurements, so we will see where those have gone, I forsee large changes =]

Wish me luck!

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