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Unattainable Numbers

Well, this week has been interesting to say the least.   I had a doctors appointment for a routine physical which overall went well.  I am healthy, all of my blood work came back normal.  (aside from my blood pressure being slightly higher than usual, but not enough to be concerning)  The thing that was a little disconcerting was the doctor telling me I needed to lose weight.  The fact that he told me this wasn’t the problem, the way he told me was my problem.  Right after telling him all of the issues I’ve had recently he decided to tell me that I could get all the way down to 119 lbs.  My first reaction was WTF, I’ve never been 119 lbs in my adult life.  I knew what he meant when he said it but I can’t quite convince myself that’s what he meant.  What he should have said was to be at a healthy bmi you need to be between 119 and 139 (which even that is off, technically for my height low is considered under 105 lbs and high is considered above 141, which is exactly why I can’t convince myself that’s what he meant).  The fact is that’s not what he said.  Quite frankly I think he should have said lets wait on your test results to come back and see if you are healthy (which I am) and then we can figure out weight loss solutions for you.  If he would have said look you need to lose a little weight to be in a healthy range I would have been like yup, I know I do.  Talking about 10 lbs is a lot easier to handle especially if he would have said we would like to see you down 10-12 lbs by the time we see you for your physical next year.   That is a doable quest for someone like me.  A pound a month means being able to focus on me rather than focus on the battle of weight loss.  Instead he told me to lose approx a pound ever week to two weeks.

I guess I understand where he was coming from on a physician level but I think there are hundreds of other ways he could have gone about it without making me want to cry.  Which I did…  After that I pretty much shut down and just started answering questions yes or no.  It is terrible how you can feel after one simple statement is made.  I wish I could erase hearing it from my brain, wipe it clean, but I can’t.  I’ve been told that I can convince myself that he meant different from my instantaneous interpretation, however that is easier said than done.

Its something I need to learn to deal with.  I know my ideal perfect weight is somewhere around the 130-140 range, which is fine, especially if my body fat is in a good range as well.  I just need to focus on that rather than thinking about the oh so unattainable number 119 which he has unfortunately put in my head.  I guess my most disappointing aspect is that rather than discussing my health as a whole the visit became focused on my weight…  The one thing I’m trying to stop worrying so much about.

Setbacks are part of the process and I know that, but that doesn’t make them any easier to handle when they come about.  Not that I am going to ignore what the doctor said, as I will try to lose weight as its necessary for my health, but I am instead going to focus on a pound a month, which means I don’t have to focus all of my energy on it, in turn allowing me to focus on living a healthy overall life not obsessed with my weight.

Comments (5)

  1. Rebeccca Gagne

    OMG! Who is this Doctor?! I would have been so pissed! First of all, if you got down to 119 pds, I would be forcing hot dogs down your throat cause you would look like a skeleton! I’m sorry Doc, but some of us aren’t meant to be that small. It’s all about living and feeling healthy at whatever weight that is. Some of us can workout until the cows come home, but if our body is not meant to be that small, you’ll never get there.

    • LaurenRenee

      Yeah, he was an idiot, needless to say I won’t be going back to him. I’ll hopefully still be gong to the practice since its right in N.Ber. next to Dunkin Donuts, but hopefully there is someone else there who is not so dumb.

  2. Logan Christoffer

    Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

  3. Toni Zuba

    ….You didn’t share that info with me when we talked about your appointment.
    I love you…no matter what! Just be healthy, the rest will follow.
    xoxo

  4. Earl Kleinhenz

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